Hindsight…
This morning I got a message from my mother. My Grandmother, her Mom, passed away last night. She hadn’t been in good health, she was being taken care of by machines, she had lost much of her memory. This doesn’t make it easier, it does give me comfort to know she is better now and with her sons, happier than she was here.
I hadn’t seen my Grandmother in years. Our relationship wasn’t always close. There were struggles between her and my Grandpa and my family, especially as I got older.
They always sent birthday cards, and Christmas, and congratulations, with little notes saying hello when I moved to MN. I never sent any back.
I always intended to. I saved the cards, saved the addresses, never wrote.
So now hindsight brings guilt, and sorrow. Sorry that I didn’t make the effort to stay in touch.
So the recent memories don’t exist, but the ones growing up are still there. My Grandmother made fantastic schnickerdoodles and lemon cake. She was tiny and sweet with dark curly hair and a distinctive voice. She had a beautiful collection of owls and pewter. Her house was always dark but full of wood and books and neat stuff to look at. She knew how to cook in cast iron, and looked great with silver in her hair.
I hope she knows that I do love her and that I remember good times. I’m happy she is in a better place and I hope she looks out over Elijah. She would have liked his name.
So I am sad today, and promising to myself that Elijah will know his grandparents.
1 Comment
Leave a Reply
Buy stuff from here if you like.
I am so sorry about your grandma. Hindsight brings much but somehow I think your grandma knew that you loved her and I believe we have angels watching over us all the time. And that, I think, is comforting.